Quickies
by Munch's GunAngel
Summary: They all follow the same characters from SVU. I will update as soon as the writer's block lifts but chapter 4 is up.
1. Cassidy's New Bike

Cassidy's New Bike 

First of what will hopefully be a successful line of stories. I disclaim all characters in this story. Although the plot line is solely mine.

John Munch walked out of the precinct and stared through his tinted lenses at the sight before him. Brian Cassidy sat on a crotch-rocket of a motorcycle strapping a helmet on. He smiled at Munch like a kid at Christmas.

"Like my new bike?"

He kicked the kickstand out from underneath and went to kick-start it. The engine whirred for a second before dying.

"Need a ride Brian?"

"Nah. I got it John." Cassidy said as he went to kick-start it again and the engine roared to life. He put the proverbial pedal to the metal and tore out of the parking lot, hopping the curb and landing heavily on both wheels. To his dismay though, it only ran for about the next 20 feet and then it died.

Munch smiled as Cassidy went to start it again but to no avail. He pushed his foot down on the lever again and nothing happened. He finally got pissed and put his full weight on the start. There was a horrible 'CRACK' and 'PLINK' of the kick-start breaking off and hitting the concrete.

Cassidy hung his head and turned to Munch. "Hey, John, about that ride…"

Thanks to** Augusta** and her interesting sound effects, which inspired this story.


	2. Munch's Tangent

Munch Goes on a Tangent 

Munch, just being himself. I don't own any of these characters either. pout I want to own John Munch. He's just a hottie.

"Don't you think the one bullet theory is a bit odd?" Detective John Munch asked as he leaned back in the chair.

He sat in Captain Donald Cregen's office that evening and had, once again, brought up that same old tangent.

"Explain to me what you think is odd about it." Cregen said around a mouthful of licorice.

"The fact that one bullet could kill Kennedy and hit guy sitting in front of him and leave no trace of itself at the scene. Yet it was found later in pristine condition on the President's gurney as though it had never been fired from a gun."

Cragen took a sip from his coffee cup to wash down the candy. "Okay. Try this conspiracy on for size. An alien called me yesterday and tried to tell me the three most important things in life."

"That wasn't an alien." John said with a grin. "That was me."

"Weirdo." His boss mumbled.

I told you these were quickies. And the idea for this one came from Richard Belzer's _Another Lone Nut_.


	3. Olivia's Mistake

Olivia's Mistake 

Disclaimer: see first chapter.

Olivia has yet another stalker. A long chappie this time.

Detective Benson walked out of a gym under the dim glow of a street light. A cool breeze ruffled the damp tips of her freshly washed hair. She set off down the street toward her apartment.

Halfway there, Olivia glanced over into the side view mirror of a parked car. She saw a man dressed in black following about 50 feet behind her. She decided that if the man followed her all the way to her apartment, she would tell Cragen in the morning.

Olivia made it all the way to home without anything happening though the hairs on the back of her neck stood at strict attention. After she turned the key on the bolt lock she looked out the window to find that her 'shadow' was no where to be seen. Seeing so, she took a quick shower and went to bed.

The next morning she took off for a little coffee shop she always went to and kept tabs on the man following not two or three people behind her in the morning crowd. She walked slowly and calmly to the surprisingly short line leading to the counter. Even though she knew the menu by heart, she looked up at it as an excuse to catch a glimpse over her shoulder. She found that her stalker had indeed followed her.

She'd just reached the counter when a hand landed on her shoulder. She grasped the offender's wrist as she wrenched around and knocked him on his ass with a sharp uppercut.

Another hand grabbed her upper arm from behind. She turned with a wild left hook that just brushed the graying head of a familiar skinny Jew ducking from years of experience.

"Liv!" Munch said, as he leaned back away from another punch. "It's me!"

She lowered her fists and gave him a confused look.

"You know, you just clocked the FBI agent assigned to tail you." He said as she glanced down at the supine man.

"I'm being tailed?"

John dragged her outside away from all the gaping people. "We're both being tailed. Adrenetti, that mob lackey, just made parole."

"What? How? Why didn't they tell me?" Olivia fumed.

"That's why." Munch pointed to the recovering agent.

"Oh."

"And they think I'm paranoid. At least I don't punch out my protector's lights."

"I'm only paranoid about the important thing like MY LIFE, and don't start that argument again." Olivia retorted to Munch's pout.

"But I like that argument."


	4. Fin's Annoyance

Don't Annoy Fin 

Fin doesn't like to wake up before the sun.

Odafin Tutuola slowly awoke to the annoying chirp of his cell phone. He flipped it open as he rose into a slumped sitting position.

"Tutola." Fin mumbled into the receiver.

He groaned and slowly rolled his eyes to look at his bedside clock as he hung up.

"Two in the frickin' mornin'. Doesn't this city ever sleep?"

He rolled out of bed, made himself somewhat presentable, grabbed his gun and badge, and headed for the door.

When he reached the crime scene, it was total chaos. He did everything he could as dictated by protocol and finally set off for the station house at five a.m.

As soon as he got there he collapsed at his desk and mumbled something that sounded like 'unbelievable'. When he did venture to pick his head up he dialed a familiar number and began filling out necessary forms.

Half an hour later he handed the forms to Captain Cragen and ambled over into the interrogation room where he proceeded to wait another two hours. About that time Munch walked in, in a neatly pressed black suit and red tie with spit-shined shoes and a cocky smile.

"You seen the inside of your eyelids lately?"

"Not since two this morning." Fin replied as he considered using the table as a makeshift pillow.

"Figures. You look like shit."

Fin glared at the older man. "Fine. How about I throw your skinny, white ass across the room and you get up at two a.m. next time a narc lab blows up next to a park full of kids!"

John cringed but wisely chose to shut up as their first suspect was led in.

Next up, hopefully Elliot. If I can't thing of a story for him then it'll probably be Mike Sandoval.


	5. Munch's Stalker

Stalking Munch 

Disclaimer: I want Munch! TT No innocent fans were harmed in the making of this installment of Quickies.

Detective John Munch walked out of a coffee shop and headed in the general direction of the station house. He was in a fairly good mood that morning. It was a bright sunny day and he felt like arguing his favorite alien conspiracy to Elliot.

He had just crossed his third intersection when he suddenly became very aware of someone's eyes following him. They were practically boring holes in the back of his skull. He quickened his pace and started turning odd corners to lose the stalker but they matched his every move, keeping exactly three feet behind him.

Munch slowed up as he turned onto the block where the station house was. His stalker closed the gap quickly and Munch put his hand on the butt of his gun. They stood mere inches behind him and he could tell his stalker was female, unless it was fashionable for men to wear fruity-smelling body spray.

A slim, long-fingered hand touched his shoulder and he whirled around with gun drawn. No one was there and he blinked. Suddenly, the authoress popped up in front of him and he pulled the trigger.

Click--

Damn! I forgot to reload the clip. Munch thought.

She completely ignored the gun in her face. "Can I have your autograph, Det. Munch, sempai, sir!"

Munch's jaw hit the sidewalk.


End file.
